Monday, April 16, 2012

Day 52

As I was driving into work today I got to thinking of how my thoughts about certain things can really change my mood.  Like yesterday I was constantly thinking about how hubby has disappointed me and that thought stayed with me almost the entire day.  Which in turn helped me over do with eating.  I didn't eat poorly but I still over did with fruit and such.  Even my dinner was low calorie but my portions were way over the top.  This I will admit I have never really put this to much thought.  I am finding out that my moods are allowing me to head to unhealthy choices, meaning not only bad foods but as I said portions.  I guess my real goal here is to keep myself on a "good" motivation level?  Gosh it is really hard sometimes to even write exactly what I am feeling not even thinking.  I really think I need to further investigate this area.  Many may say or think that this is crazy but........I really don't know.  If anything I hope this is kind of a breakthrough?  Right now I am feeling this uneasy burning feeling deep inside.  I really want to lose this weight, hopefully this is all good.  Part of me is kind of mad that others don't have or want this drive, I think then why just me?  I don't know and that bothers me too.  Is this normal?  I wish someone could just tell me.  If anyone were to read this would probably think, what in the world is she talking about?  I guess I must be in some type of strange mood. 

Anyhow, I just finished with breakfast and now I am drinking my first 40 ounces of fluid for the day.  Lunch is supposed to be with a friend who will be in town today.  I have already made up my mind that all I am having is a salad.  I can not let going out control me, I am in control.  Maybe this is God's way of opening up my eyes?

Ah well, I need to now focus on my work.  I am so close to finishing the quarterly reports. 

Until later............

1 comment:

  1. I can remember when Mike wasn't motivated to try and I was all gang busters, it felt like I was dragging him along. I do totally get what you're saying and we can't really do this for anyone but ourselves. I think you trying to give your TOPS group motivation though is great just don't get down if they don't get it right away. Everything has to be in our own time when WE are ready just as it is for them.