A lot of little things have been going through my head. Some real important I believe and some are just down right “stupid”. I am even at times feeling just confused. It has to be that there is just a lot on my plate. One thing I am happy about is that my sister is now back at home. She returned yesterday and I believe she went right back to work today. She must have jet lag for sure, so I will not bother her. I do hope that she contacts me soon, because there is still a lot of work to do in preparation for our meeting in regards about our dad.
I was very, very frustrated on Friday, that I actually broke down and cried. I was in the car and suddenly I couldn’t think of anyone to talk to, then I called my niece. Afterwards I felt so bad crying and venting out like that. It all stems down to that unfortunately the people who work at Social Security are just idiots, well, at least to all of the ones that I spoke to. I purposely called twice on Thursday to confirm exactly what I needed to get a replacement card for dad. Then on Friday I had to travel into town, not able to go to my local office because they have changed it that you must go to the central center. Once down there speaking with one of the reps, she now tells me that I needed more information and I was NOT able to get this done. WTF I was furious, explained to her what both parties told me, she got her supervisor and both told me NO. At this point my leg was aching and I was about to scream. All this time, all this effort for nothing. Not only there but also went to the local office (which was one of the places that I called) speaking to another rep, he tells me that some of the papers that I had to obtained for dad is incorrect and he will not honor them…WTF again. Doesn’t anyone know what they are talking about? So after 5 hours of running around NOTHING, NOTHING got accomplished. I just couldn’t believe all of this was happening. It was at that time I just broke down. I was so irritated and upset that I didn’t think twice and stopped at Rita’s and got junk food….ice cream and water ice. Went home cried and ate until I became sick. This is what puzzles me, why do I do these things. I lose hope on it all.
Sunday at church I also quietly broke down again, begging God to help me. Begging for him to give me the strength and courage to move on. I will admit I am petrified about Thursday, which is when I get my first injection in my knee. I pray that this works and will give me some relief while walking.
I am still trying to get some things done at home, I am glad that it is happening, slowly but it is getting done. Just those little things is what makes me a happy camper.
I did push myself and went shopping a bit at Kohl’s. I mainly went because at the nursing home, well they were losing his clothes, so I wanted to get him some new ones to replace the missing ones. While there I did looked through the woman’s section and yes I bought three shirts/tops and one pair of Capri’s. One thing that I am proud of is that the Capri’s are a size 22. A bit snug but still fits. Nice difference from a size 28. Now I need to keep that perspective and must continue my efforts. I really need to stay focused on me. Again I hope this knee will be somewhat better because I really want to start walking again…..real badly