Re-dedicating to my health

All that is well has ended well.  The shower was a huge success even with some unforeseen obstacles.  One main one was the catering ladies and the girls (bridesmaids) and hubby and me got to the hall only to find it was locked.  The catering ladies were supposed to get in at 12:30 and the rest of us at 1:00.  But no one was there to let us in.  OK….panic mood starting, I immediately started calling any number I had that associated with the hall.  No answers just instant voice mail.  Of course I left many messages.  Then thank the heavens I called my girlfriend’s husband who is a member of the club, (Knights of Columbus), got a hold of him and he started calling others to find out what happened.  Long story made short, finally someone arrived and we got in at 1:40, which only left 20 minutes to set up before guests arrived.  Double panic mode was taken place inside of me.  But with the help of many we got it done by 2:05.  WHEW that was close.  Anyhow my daughter was completely surprised.  She loved every minute of it, as also the guests.  Many complimented of how they had a fantastic time.  So all my personal goals were met. 

Then the next day Monday I had all my appointments at the hospital.  I thought the radiology center was cruel with mammograms but here at the hospital they were animals.  Oh my, my poor little breasts.  But after that plus an ultrasound, talking with the radiologist doctor plus the breast doctor, I was given a clean slate.  They still want me to have a 3 month follow up, which has now been schedule late September.

Now onto my weigh in last night at TOPS.  I am very sad to say that I have gained 7 pounds over the last four weeks.  With the shower and stuff I have not gone to my meetings nor have I gotten weighed.  I knew deep down that I had gained but I honestly thought no more than 5 pounds tops.  Boy was I surprised.  Which in turn made me very angry with myself.  I do not want to go up the scale, who does?  So with that I made sure that today’s breakfast and lunch were healthy and packed.  Also too I need to be more diligent with journaling.   It has always helped me and kept me focused on what was going in my mouth. 

And of course today in work was the staff luncheon, which I refused to participate in.  They have lunch catered and boy it sure did look good.  But I am staying in my office, I am so grateful that my friend here in work I can talk to, plus some of my TOPS friends thru email.  So I am not being shy and I am reaching out for support.

 Actually I am just kinda watching the clock until I can get out of here, far far away.

Plus I have rearranged my plans for the weekend, that I am going to get back to pre-cooking and pre-bagging plenty of good foods in my house this weekend.  I am re-dedicating to getting healthy.

You know you gotta be thankful for eye-openers.

Until later……

Time waits for no one………

Wow again so much time has passed.  Well today I am home mainly because we are finally getting a new garage door installed.  I am also off tomorrow and Monday all because of my daughter’s wedding shower which is on Sunday.  I will admit most of the stuff is done and we are really to set up and decorate the place.  The bridesmaids have done a wonderful job with all the center pieces and candy bar.  I just have a few last minute, run around errands to do on Saturday.  I just hope she likes everything we have done and that the guests really enjoy themselves.  Oh and my one goal is to really surprise her which I may add I really think I have pulled it off.  I have sent multiple invitations to them (daughter and finance), with help of my future son-in-law and dear friends, we have her completely confused. 

 

Right now a lot is going on; not only the shower but hubby and I are in the midst of refinancing our home.  Plus unfortunately I got called back by my breast specialist doctor for more review of my right breast.  I am hoping what they are seeing is just scar tissue from the surgery back from November.  This is a new doctor because my other breast surgeon doctor has retired.  So I am quite nervous with my appointment on Monday. 

 

So with my emotions on high, my eating plan is not the greatest.  Right now I am hovering around 265 to 270.  When it starts creeping up to 270, it is then I start really watching what I am eating.  I really have no excuses why I am NOT watching.  It is just plain stupid.  I have much more weight to go and I am just not doing it.  Not that I want to put it off but I am trying to plan better once the shower is over.  I am trying to get healthier food in this house.  Ah heck even hubby is saying about of how much junk is back in the house again.  Since I do most of the cooking even hubby is losing some weight.  So hopefully we can get back to eating the right things.  One consolation is that we no longer drink soda anymore.  I usually make a lot of decaffeinated green ice tea.  Also too I went and bought one of those large jugs that have a sprout attached and fill that with water with lemon slices and a few leaves of mint, very refreshing.  So as the saying goes baby steps of change.

 

Now my next big step is to incorporate some exercise.  I happen to come across yesterday Leslie Sansone video on the computer.  Just a simple walking video with just walking.  I am trying to commit to doing it once a day.  It is only 20 minutes long.  I just hope that I can do it with my bad knee.  I must try.

 

Well I need to get moving and get some things done.  It is such a beautiful day here.  Maybe once I get some things done in the house I can get outside and do a bit of gardening.

 

Until later………….

Just trying to continue on........

Wow another week has flown by.  Also too, the weather has been and is crazy.  Just last Saturday our temperature was like in the 50’s.  It was so chilly and windy, that if you went outside you needed a lite jacket or sweatshirt.  Now today it is suppose to go up in the mid 90’s.  Leaving work this morning at 6:15am the temp read in the car at 72.  So crazy.  Anyhow I am grateful that where I work is air-conditioned.

Well tonight is TOPS night and I have struggled to stay somewhat on plan.  I have made my lunches all week.  Drank my big bottles of water.  So tonight will tell.  Oh and as for last week, I lost 2 ½ pounds.  I just need to lose another two pounds and again I will be back to my lowest.  Why I keep repeating this method over and over is beyond me.  So many times I wonder, am I afraid of losing more weight, not that I am near goal or anything.  Or is it, my mood at that moment is that I don’t care?  I wish I could figure out my head.

With the wedding just under five months to go, I only have 17 pounds to get to the goal that I have set for myself.  Don’t get me wrong, I am no where near where I should be, but I wanted to set a realistic goal.  I thought 75 pounds would be good.  If I were to go below that, then that would be a plus.  I just wonder why I just can’t seem to be consistent with my eating habits. 

Other than that I have been quite busy preparing for my daughter’s wedding shower, which is in three weeks.  It is all coming down to the wire.  My biggest complaint about it all is that how people don’t respond to invitations.  Meaning that it was requested as a RSVP.  I am not the least bit upset if a person can’t make it, but at least tell me.  Don’t people realize that when it is catered that one needs to give a head count.  Also too I just love those (once I have contacted them) would state, oh you should have known that I was coming….really?  I should have known???   My goodness if I could do that, well, maybe I would know the winning lottery numbers next time.

So with that and also trying to keep up with my father, who is in the nursing home, I seem to have my hands full right now.  Hopefully once the wedding shower is over, things may begin to calm down.  I certainly hope so.  If anything I am glad that my auditors are finally finished here at work and now I can start taking some time off.  What is helping now is that I am taking off mainly on Fridays to have a three day weekend.  So all in all things are good.  (I guess I shouldn’t be complaining, things could be worse….haha)

Until later……………..

Where did my determination go???????

Where is my determination?   Several months ago I thought I had it and I was moving in the right direction.  As always slow but I was moving in the right direction.  Now lately, I am not moving at all.  Which of course the result is that now I am going in the WRONG direction.  I don’t know what it is but I am caving in so easily.  Yesterday I caved in when someone here at work came into my office and offered me a soft pretzel.  So quickly I said of course.  Took one and within 5 minutes it was gone.  Did I take the time to think about it?  NO   Did I even think that I was hungry?  (Which I wasn’t)   but NO.  And here is the best…..I continued grabbing anything and everything once I got home.  This is so wrong of me.  I definitely know better.  What is my desire?  Don’t I “want” to get healthier?  Don’t I want to be lighter so my knee will feel better?  Don’t I want to lose this horrible weight, at least get to the goal that I promised myself for the wedding in October?  Which might I add is so doable.  I want to lose another 20 pounds in 5 five months…..so so doable.  So why do I have the attitude like I don’t care?  I just can’t seem to figure it out.  Don’t I want this?   My mind is all over the place.  I just need to focus; right now I just want to scream.   Oh why?????????????

Until later…………………….

Need to be back in CONTROL

I am officially all over the place, not only with what I am eating but just about everything.  Not a pretty picture.  I am trying very hard to get in control.  One thing that I will admit, it seems that I have much better control when I am in work.  I have my packed breakfast and lunch with two small snacks.  It is always when I get home that does me in. 

I am hoping, (no strike that) I WILL take control of myself tonight.  I just need to tell myself I will watch and not just grab anything that is around.  Especially tonight because Hubby went and did a little food shopping yesterday while I was out running some errands.  Well to my surprise, he brought home three bags of sun chips.  I was so stunned.  Not so much he brought them (sun chips) home but three bags???   I asked him and he stated it was because they had a good sale going on.  I guess because of the holiday coming up.  Oh my, this is going to be great!!!! (not really).

But regardless, I am the one who should be in control.  It is not his problem but mine.  I must own up to it and stop complaining.

Until later………….

What am I doing????????????

Amazing, just even back a few days and poof how easy it is to break a promise.

Unfortunately I missed writing, then again, how much can stuff happen in one day, ah yes a lot but nothing really much this day, which in turn I am grateful that nothing drastic happened.

Last night was weigh in at TOPS and really I was quite surprised, I did manage to lose 1.75 pounds.  I honestly thought I may have gained a half of pound or something.  Now I just need to lose another 4.25 pounds to get where I was several weeks ago and then really continue to lose.  A dear friend left a comment stating that maintain in the same 5-10 lb window isn’t a bad thing that I should consider it practicing for life.  My goodness she is such a blessing to me with her wisdom and support.  I adore her.  I understand the concept of what she is saying but part of me is saying that is such a nice excuse.  I really need to concentrate more of losing.  I have made a promise to myself of what I would like to weigh on the day of the wedding, which is in five months, and all I need to lose is another 20 pounds, so doable, so why am I not doing it?  Such a good question, and truthfully I am not one of those procrastinators neither.  I am the type to plan and execute of usually whatever needs to be done, but why not this?  Too much work?  Too much planning?  What are my excuses?  I should have none

I am looking forward to this weekend.  On Sunday I am going with my son to the outlets, just him and I.  This is part of his mother’s day gift to me that we spend the day together.  I just love it; we have been doing this for the last five years.  I might as well take full advantage of it because once he is married and has children; he will not have time for this anymore.

Well I need to get moving back again with my reports.

Still need to answer some of my own questions though.

Until later……………..

Crazy day but staying focused

Ok I promised myself I would write something today.

Might not be much but it is still something.

As for yesterday, I really think I did pretty well.  I watch what I was eating, I really didn’t journal my food, but in my head I think I may have been around 1500 to 1600 in calories.

Also too last night I got my hair done, which it needed desperately.   And of course, what woman doesn’t feel better about themselves, especially when the hair is looking mighty nice.

So far with today, I am trying to stay on track.  Breakfast and lunch is on target.  I am even getting the water in as did before.  Just going a bit crazy right now with work.  Seems everyone just wants a piece of me.  Whew, believe me I can’t wait until it is four o’clock, which is the time to go home.

One thing I am looking forward to is that I am meeting a dear friend after work for a drink.   I already know that I am staying away from my usual amaretto and will order vodka and cranberry.   I still can’t get used to gin and tonic, which many say is very low calorie.  Maybe someday I will get there.

Ok need to run, again.

Until later…………………