Where is my determination? Several months ago I thought I had it and I was moving in the right direction. As always slow but I was moving in the right direction. Now lately, I am not moving at all. Which of course the result is that now I am going in the WRONG direction. I don’t know what it is but I am caving in so easily. Yesterday I caved in when someone here at work came into my office and offered me a soft pretzel. So quickly I said of course. Took one and within 5 minutes it was gone. Did I take the time to think about it? NO Did I even think that I was hungry? (Which I wasn’t) but NO. And here is the best…..I continued grabbing anything and everything once I got home. This is so wrong of me. I definitely know better. What is my desire? Don’t I “want” to get healthier? Don’t I want to be lighter so my knee will feel better? Don’t I want to lose this horrible weight, at least get to the goal that I promised myself for the wedding in October? Which might I add is so doable. I want to lose another 20 pounds in 5 five months…..so so doable. So why do I have the attitude like I don’t care? I just can’t seem to figure it out. Don’t I want this? My mind is all over the place. I just need to focus; right now I just want to scream. Oh why?????????????