Checking in again

Ok, well this is a start.  Actually posting two days in a row.

Not that I have much to say nor has much happened.  If anything we got a significant amount of snow....again.  With all of this white stuff, it kept me home from work.  This weekend my leg has really been hurting and with walking from the train to work, well it just wasn't happening.  We winded up getting about seven inches.  It was the wet, heavy type of snow, not the fluffy kind.  Hubby shoveled quite a bit, as I sit and watched him.  If feel so bad for him plus I worry too.

I really tried to watch what I ate today.  Tonight for dinner I made hubby and I a nice chicken, roasted peppers, avocado, lettuce sandwich.  It was quite tasty.  Even hubby liked it.  I like trying different things, provided I have them in the house.

Well I am hoping that I am able to get to work tomorrow, because it is really stacking up.  Now the stations are calling for more snow plus this time ice for tomorrow night into Wednesday.  Gosh I really can't wait for spring.

Until later..................

checking in

Just dropping a quick post to check in.

I am currently watching the superbowl half time show.   I certainly am getting old because I really don't know who is performing, at least the beginning of the show.

As for me, well I am doing slightly better.  I am trying to watch what I am eating.  Last week at TOPS I lost two pounds.   Also I did three times this week, walking with Leslie Sansone.  I can't quite finish the full one mile but I am hoping to eventually to do it all.   I would say I am doing one half of a mile.  Seems that when I get to the middle of it my leg really starts hurting.  And I really don't watch to push it too far in fear of how my leg would be for the next day.  Especially with the weather we are having right now, all of this snow.  Going back and forth to work is a big task.  I just pray that the sidewalks are somewhat decent to walk on.  Even again for tomorrow, they are calling for a wintery mix, ice and heavy wet snow.  Just wonderful.  I am one who can not wait for spring.

Well, like I say this would be short.

Hope everyone is enjoying the superbowl.

Until later..............

Time

Time….it just constantly moves.  It makes me think of what exactly I am doing with myself.  I have read many of your posts and it seems that many of you are all doing things.  Not just doing out of the ordinary things but just doing things.  I guess mainly is that others are taking care of themselves.  How do you stay on track for yourself?  Me?  Well I am just existing.  I think that sums it just right.  I get up and get ready and go to work.  Come home and do what must be done.  Make dinner for hubby, then clean up and return to do the same cycle again.  I guess you could call it ho hum.  As for my eating, well, I am trying to stay on course but in the evening I fall.  Since the wedding I have gained 12 pounds and I can feel it.  Yes I am mad with myself, so what am I doing?  I am back to posting my food but not consistent.  I know what needs to be done but I sort of have the attitude I don’t want to. 

One thing that is on my mind is my father.  He lives in a nursing home and he is a difficult man.  He is one not to get into activities that they have going on there.  He is not an easy person to talk to, he has his opinions but pushing them on others.  He likes to start arguments; he likes to fight with others.  Plus he thinks that everyone around him should cater to his needs at all times.  It was kind of rough growing up with him.  Thank goodness Mom was there to intervene at times.  The only thing is that my mom always waited on him on hand and foot.  Especially when it came to meals.  My mom constantly cooked.  Plus she was a fantastic cook.  I am grateful that my mom taught my sister and I many of her german dishes.  She was born in Germany and when my dad was sent over during World War II is when he met her.  They married and then she had to come back with my dad when he was ordered to return to the United States.  Anyhow, my mom was taught that the women always serve their husbands.  OK I getting off track here, well when I go see my father he constantly complains and orders me to cook certain meals for him.  Every time I visit he strictly tells me do this for him and do that for him.  Now when my sister visits, he doesn’t tell her.  I even said to him, why don’t you tell her to cook and he tells me, nah she doesn’t like to cook no more, so I don’t.  I really think is that I wonder why my sister doesn’t get more involved with him, why is it always me.  She tells me it is hard to visit, since it is a distance, plus she doesn’t have a lot of time.  She is busy with many things.  I guess everyone else thinks that I don’t.  Maybe they are right, I don’t know.  This weighs on me quite a bit.

Anyhow I am trying to get myself out of this funky mood.

 

I need to push myself further for myself.  I need time for just me.

What I want and what I need……time.

Until later…………

Getting back to normal

Trying to read everyone’s post but a bit hard right now.

Work is quite demanding right now and by the time I get home, well, I am tired.  

If anything, now that the holidays are over, everything is put away and all is back to normal, well I am finally back on track.   The holidays have done me in plus with worrying with many issues.  I know, these are just excuses but …..they are excuses.

Now I am just trying to look forward.  Tomorrow is weigh in at TOPS.  

Also I caved in and bought a scale.  Something that I haven’t had in a long time.  So many people have told me to not weigh in everyday but I have decided to do it again.

I felt better knowing how I was doing day to day.  Some people have told me that I was obsessed but I don’t think so.  Anyhow this is what I want to do and I am doing it.

Tis time to head to bed.

Until later…………….

New Year - New Start

Happy New Year to everyone, wow 2014, as everyone has said where has the time gone?

As for me, the holidays were ok.  Unfortunately we had some family issues, they seemed to be resolved but some of the hurt is still there.  Time is still needed I think to heal some of the wounds.

But looking forward, praying and hoping that this will be a good year for us.  If anything, we have started planning the next wedding, which will be in June.  I think I have found a dress, now to shop around to see which store has it, so I could see it in real life.  Truthfully I really need to get moving with this, seems that this manufacturer takes almost three months to get the dress in.

One good thing that I can tell is that my test from my biopsy came in and it is benign.  Plus the test also showed no signs of pre-cancer.  The only thing now that the doctors what me to further investigate is that they are saying that my uterus has dropped.  I just need to see what the next step is.  I am really hoping that this year will be less of doctors.

As for my weight, well that has certainly got pushed to the sidelines.  But I am trying my up most best to get back on track.  I am even trying to find a word for myself for this year to hang onto, strive for, whatever you would want to call it.  I am thinking of ENDURE.  I like this word.  I really like the meaning of it, tolerate, survive, keep on, and persist.  I think that is going to be my 2014 word for me.  ENDURE

I actually went to Kohl’s on Monday and bought a scale.  I haven’t had a scale for quite some time; I only weighed in at TOPS on Thursdays.  I got rid of the scale because I seemed obsessed. I would practically weigh myself everyday, many have told me that it wasn’t a good thing to do but I think it really helped me.  So I am going back to it.   I know that your weight can fluctuate from day to day and with many reasons too.  But I can deal with it.

Well, my Christmas vacation is over, I have been home since Christmas Eve and honestly I want it to be over.  I am ready to move on.  The new year is bringing many obstacles but I think I am ready to achieve them in all ways.

I pray that everyone will have a wonderful year.

Until later……………

 

Just updating

Well I am finally done with Christmas.  I am pleased to state that all the shopping is done, and gifts are wrapped.  Now I just need to go food shopping and I have plenty of cooking to do tomorrow.  The main reason is because on Sunday, my sister and I and some of the kids are going to visit Pop at the nursing home to celebrate Christmas.  Now with Pop, well he is always asking about bringing some homemade food.  Food that he likes which is old fashion German dishes (you would guess so; both of my parents are from Germany).  So tomorrow I am making sauerkraut and bratwurst.  It is one of his favorites.  So that is my day for tomorrow.

On Wednesday I had to see the gynecologist-oncologist because my regular GYN saw something that she didn’t like.  Well this visit ended up me getting a biopsy.  All I can say is O M G, did I see the stars and the moon.  Even with her giving me a shot to numb the area, it still extremely hurt.  Even though it has been two days it still hurts, not as much but it still does, especially when I need to relieve myself.  Hopefully by the end of the weekend it will be much better.  Now the unknown is the worse part.  They told me not to call until next Friday, Dec 27^th.   This is just great with all the waiting.  I am trying very hard not to dwell on this but it is so hard.  Ok enough of that.

Funny with just a few days away for Christmas I still don’t know what is going on.  I spoke to my son today and we probably won’t see them. It seems that they will be visiting her side of the family.  Now I just need to hear from my daughter.  So whatever the case may be, I have decided to make Christmas dinner easy.  So for now I am making a ham, with some spinach, corn and possibly some potatoes.  I haven’t made up my mind if we will have soup or salad.

If anything I am mainly looking forward just having off some days.  This year I am working Christmas Eve, which I usually take off but the boss really wanted it, so he is off and I am working.  I know he really appreciates it.  

So that is about it.

Hopefully I will be back soon, but if not, I would like to wish everyone a happy, healthy and blessed Christmas.  May you enjoy the fun and love with all who are dear to you.

Until later………..

Checking in

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Mine was very nice; I thoroughly enjoyed it since all of my children were here.   Now moving onto the next holiday, Christmas.  I have been quite busy.  Immediately after Thanksgiving, I spent the next three days decorating, which I may say that I did get it all done.  I just love the decorations, which many of them have a sentimental meaning attached to them.  I don’t really nuts but you can certainly tell the holiday spirit is here.  Once that was done I started with the shopping and this is a first in a very long time, I can honestly say I am just about done.  Even with the shopping I have done I even wrapped them up right away.  I must admit it is a good feeling. 

As for my GYN appointment, well the doctor stated that 80 to 85% have cleared up but unfortunately I still need to see a specialist.  Seems that I have a lesion that hasn’t healed.  I still need to use the cream until I see her which is next week on Wednesday.  My doctor stated that she may do a biopsy.  I am praying that everything will be fine. 

Today I called out from work; I was too frightened with the weather.  We got today plenty of snow and hubby has to work much later, so my route to home would have involved walking many blocks.  I am so afraid of falling and with my bad knee…well; my fear got the best of me.  I am grateful that I still had PTO’s left to use and that my boss understands.

As for my weight, well that isn’t going well neither.  I gain a few pounds then lose some.  I guess another reason for not writing on my blog.  I mean come on, who wants to admit that they are not doing what they should be doing.  I just can’t seem to get into my program, or I should say “I just don’t care?”   I will admit that the doctor business is on my mind a lot.  I really need to refocus what matters to me.

You would think especially with the next wedding coming, (my son’s wedding is in June 2014), that I would be more focused.  Trying to get this weight off is mainly for health reasons especially with my leg, but one would think that the wedding would be an extra incentive. 

Well, I need to get moving and get dinner together for hubby.  Today he has to work close to 13 hours, it is so long and I feel so bad for him too, that I try to have a nice hot meal when he gets home.

I pray that everyone is doing well.

Until later………..