Day 12

Wow these days are just zipping by, especially when I am reflecting on them.  Day 12 writing this blog….zeeesh.  If I think about it too much, the wedding will be here instantly.   Anyhow I had a good day yesterday.  I stopped and visited my Dad, and like usually he offers me cookies and a pie that he got from dinner.  Oh I need to explain a bit, my father who will be 91 at the end of this month, lives in independent and dependent living facilities.  It is very nice, my dad, fortunately is in the independent living area.  He has a small but cute apartment.  It has a kitchenette, a great room (his table and chairs with also his living furniture with the entertainment center) then he has a nice size bedroom and a full bathroom.  This facility has a medical staff 24/7 and his apartment is equipment with emergency cords, also he gets a full dinner in the dining hall and if he does not show up (unless he tells them he will not be there) the staff will investigate why he did not show up for dinner.  My sister and I are so grateful that he is there; at least we know he is looked after.  So anyhow I go and visit dad and he offers me the snacks.  I turn him down and he insisted I have some.  One thing that always got me with dad is that he always wants to give me food and then after I should eat it, some time afterwards he states that I really should lose weight.  I try so hard to explain to him to stop this but he continues.  I know one thing is that he always offers because this is all he has to give.  I tell him it is not necessary but he continues to do what he wants.  Anyhow I did have some cookies but left the rest. 

When I got home I made a nice healthy dinner again and tried my best to stay within calorie range.  When hubby comes home and I give him his dinner I always tell him how many calories it is for him and asked if he likes it and if he is satisfied.  So far yes, I must admit it is taking some work but it is so worth it.  Like they always say, plan….plan….and plan some more.   Finally the main ingredient is sinking in……

Now time to plan…..plan…..for tonight.

Until later…………

Day 11

I just love the mornings; everything is bright, fresh and smells new.  I am so thankful each day to wake up to a new day.  I am trying so hard to keep up with my new attitude.  Well, got some great news yesterday, my daughter and her fiancé have decided where they want their wedding reception.  This coming Sunday we are going to see the place.  On line the pictures are gorgeous.  They seem really happy which in turns makes me happy too.

Well things are back on track and I am feeling real good again.  I was on target with my calories and made sure I drank my fluids, actually I got up to 80 ounces.  I would like to get to 100, I don’t know how in the world some drink 150 +.  Maybe once I get really used to around 100 I may be able to add more but for right now getting to 100 makes I am happy.   Also today I am wearing my pin stripe suit.  I haven’t worn this, gosh I really can’t remember.  All I know I am thrilled.  As I was leaving the house this morning I turned and said to hubby, look I can wear this suit again.  He said that is great and told me I am doing a good job, then of course he said hey maybe not much longer you can asked your daughter if you can have her Victoria Secret stuff, I turned around and told him, nah I plan on getting my own.  He laughed with raised eyebrows….LOL.  Anyhow it just feels good, especially with hubby and even with his comments.  At least his comments are more supportive than they used to be. 

Last night I made sure dinner was healthy but also delicious.  I made baked flounder with lemon pepper, mixed vegetables and ½ of a baked sweet potato.  With it we had my homemade chicken soup with escarole and no noodles.  It was very filling and very good.  One thing that I am discovering is I am trying to use different spices and herbs to make the usually foods but trying to give things a little twist.  So far so good.

Also I am getting more excited about TOPS.  I hope I can become leader, I have been thinking of several ideas for meetings and I am trying to write them down.  I really hope I can motivate the ladies.  I certainly hope I get the opportunity to do this…..I just feel so ready for this……..gotta keep in mind for myself…..patience just give it patience…..which I am learning so much lately.   Never ever too late to learn more about oneself.    Ah…something again to ponder about…………..

Until later………………..

Day 10

Wow it is amazing when you really write things down plus also I am seeing how just making small changes can have such an impact on yourself and also people around you.  For once I really think I am in a good place….I certainly hopes this last.

Also looking back, especially over this weekend, WOW, all I can say is WOW…..with all that was going on this past weekend and with all the food, no wonder I am feeling lousy.  If anything I am right back on track today by all means, but feeling like this is horrible.  I feel tired, sluggish, bloated, oh my I could go on and on.  Oh and I can certainly tell, at least now with my fluid intake.  No way near my quota over this weekend.  Well that certainly is not going to be the case today.   Just about 8:30 in the morning and I am done already 40 ounces and I already have my super cup (holds 32 ounces) sitting here on my desk for me to sip on for the rest of the morning. 

One thing that I have realized is that I need to be more mindful with food and my surroundings.  I need to think more of what is going on, that, why is food such a central focus even on small celebrations or events or even just casual gatherings.   I don’t know why I think of the food more at this times and have the attitude of “well it is ok to cheat” or “you gotta live it up a little” etc.   I need to re-visit this several times or may be many times, I even kind of wonder would I ever overcome this……hmmm…..

Funny I am actually looking forward to making a healthy dinner for hubby and me tonight. 

You just gotta love changes…….

Until later……………….

Day 9

Today was a wonderful day; I went with my daughter to a bridal expo.  OMG, how things have changed over the years.  All the different designs, dresses, cakes, venues, etc.  And OMG of how much things cost these days.  I was kidding with the kids telling them how about if we got them a decorated ladder with flowers and we would even hold the ladder as he takes his bride to be and just elope.  They just laugh, guess it is not going to happen…LOL  Anyhow I did allow myself to taste test the vendors that were there and I know I went over on calories.  So on the way home I stopped at WAWA and got my lunches for the next couple of days.  I got their salads which are less than three hundred calories and the dressing packs are 40.  So my lunches are good.  Need to and “WILL” get right back on track.  I spoke about having a wonderful feeling that I must hold onto.  The feeling is that I am now wearing two sizes smaller in my jeans.   YEAH ME!!!

Once I post this I am now going to relax…..being that long all day on my feet has affected my knee and now it is going wild with pain.  I hope the doctor calls soon with the medicine.  I can’t even pronounce yet alone spell it but it is some type of gel thing that gets injected into the knee to lubricate and put some cushion in between the bones so that they stop rubbing against one another.  Right now the knee doesn’t hurt as much since I got the cortisone shot last week but I don’t know how much longer it will last.  Only time will tell, but as the doctor stated if I continue to lose the weight the more I am taking pressure off the knee.  Another “main” reason to take care of me.

Anyhow……time to relax

Until later……………..

Day 8

Went last night to my friend’s sons beef and beer event.  If anything it was so nice to be with my dear girlfriends.   I certainly didn’t drink any beer but I did have plenty of the roast beef sandwiches.  They were small but it didn’t stop me from having four.  Yes four.  What was I thinking?  I should have never gone hungry that long from lunch.  I had lunch at noon and the roast beef sandwiches close to nine pm.  I certainly allow my hungry and glutton self indulge with the wrong foods.  I actually felt a bit lousy when I woke up this morning.  It has passed and now I must stay on track.  This morning I just ate a low calorie banana bread.  Just wanted to have something in my stomach because I had to go shopping today.   I got hubby some nice shirts and got Pop his birthday present.  Then stopped at acme to get a few things for tonight.  The kids are coming over so we can celebrate hubby’s birthday.  Actually I spoke to hubby before I went out and I feel so bad for him.  Seems that his so called manager doesn’t even let him know when he is going to be out.  He was off Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, when he went back to work, he finds out that he is working 8 days straight with no help and he will be working 12 ½ hours per day.  I know he will be making more money but that really is not the issue.  I can’t seem to comprehend how in the world the city manager would get on hubby’s case but now not on this lazy SOB of a manager.  I am just so angry for hubby.  I hope with the kids coming and I am going to make some awesome appetizers (of course they are low calorie) that will put a smile on his face.  While at acme I saw a small wedge of wonderful watermelon, OMG it was delicious.  With it I had some cottage doubles …yum yum.  Now I feel good.  I also went to Kohl’s and bought not only the presents for the guys but treated myself to a pair of grey jeans.  Now I am going to try them on.  I hope they fit, if not I will continue with my journey until they do.  I really hope they do because then I can wear them tomorrow when I go to the bridal expo with my daughter. 

Time to try on the jeans

Wishing me luck…………….

Day 7

Yeah……..it is Friday and I feel so so good.  I actually woke up before the alarm but I still just laid there stretching and just feeling happy.  Happy ah yes, last night was my TOPS meeting and YIPPEE for me I dropped seven pounds.  Yes……..seven pounds, ah as they say about hard work gives off wonderful rewards.  I hope and pray that I can keep this happy feeling and keep my head focused.  And it is so so true about recording what you eat.  I may have gone over on some days but it kept me focused.  Also too about feeling wonderful today is that I am wearing a size smaller in my pants and my shirt.  Deep down inside I am feeling kind of pretty.  Also too last night was the nominations and Barb announced my name.  I hope the girls vote for me to become their next leader.  I am getting excited about it.  I have so many ideas that I think will help the others plus it will help me a whole bunch.  Also too I need to write a nice letter to a wonderful person, whom unfortunately I don’t know her in real life but have been connected with her through cyberspace for quite some time.   She has gone through this amazing transformation.  Not just only physically but also emotionally.  I just admire her so much and I really need to let her know how she has inspired me. 

Well I have lots to do today but looking forward to a fun weekend.

Will return soon……………

Day 6

Have many thoughts going through my head.  Don’t even know where to begin.  Anyhow, last night I was just so tired that I didn’t even journal on here.  The night before I woke up twice with such horrible muscle spasms that it woke me up out of a sound sleep.  Then it wasn’t like I could go back to sleep immediately, I had to walk around to make them go away.  I haven’t had them in such a long time.  I am so grateful that it didn’t happen last night. 

I just love my hubby; I really think he is trying to help me this time.  He made dinner and even apologized for what he made.  He made stuff chicken breasts, and with it made chicken stove top stuffing.  Very high in calories.  We talked about it and agreed that this kind of food will not come into the house.  He is even looking for the calorie intake on the packages, which he has never done before.  I am really feeling more love from him by him being more aware for things for me.  Then again this is a double good, because not just for me but I hope will also help him, because he certainly can lose some weight and get healthier too. 

Well tonight I go to TOPS.  I am feeling pretty good.  I certainly hope I see a good loss.  I had tried very hard this week and I really want to see some of the rewards.  I am thankful to God that he is with me on my journey. 

This is going to be a very busy weekend.  Tomorrow I am attending a Beef and Beer with some dear friends.  I really don’t drink beer and as for the beef, well it is Lent.  I guess they forgot about Lent because why would they have it on a Friday.  I really don’t know if there will be anything else, but I will see.  I am planning to eat something before I go, maybe like a salad.  Then on Saturday, the kids are coming up to see their father to celebrate his birthday.  I am always happy to see all the kids.  Then on Sunday I am going to a bridal expo with my daughter, this hopefully will be exciting.  This is the first one, and I hope there is plenty to see and get some wonderful ideas.  So it will be an eventful weekend. 

Just finished my breakfast and now onto drinking all my fluids.  Past several days I have gotten up to at least 80 ounces.  I pray I can keep up with this momentum.

Until later……