Just finished reading some blogs and as usual they have me thinking. So many times I just want to run away from all of this, meaning this journey of trying to lose weight. Of course that is the easy way out for sure. Every morning I say my prayers and finish them off with asking our Lord to please help me stay the course. Don’t go astray, walk the path, be strong. But at the end of the day I feel I have failed again.
Lately I have been thinking about how lazy I am. That I don’t exercise enough. Then I start to think of how I really don’t have time for it. Mainly because of how slow I am with everything. With just hubby and I at home, well you would think that life would be much easier, less time to take care of the everyday things. But for me, well I don’t want to give the impression that it is hard but it just takes more time. Meaning that whatever I do it takes me longer to do it. Mainly because I am so slow. Even with being with others, like going for a short walk I decline because I don’t want others to feel bad for me because I can’t keep up and hate the feeling that I am holding others back. I am so slow with EVERYTHING. Even with hubby and I, of course he knows my pace, so many times I would love to do just a little something, even he will come back and say to me, well it is too much for you so we won’t do that. He doesn’t even ask if I would like to. Lots of time I just feel trapped. Trapped in this body and mind. Plus so many times I really want to say something but fear, not so much of saying something but fear I will be unable to do it or complete it. So feeling like this, feeling sorry for myself I just turn to the food. I really want to snap out of this.