Monday, February 18, 2013

Trying to re-locate myself

Oh last week was a week of worry, troubled and anxiety.  As I stated before, my daughter was in the hospital with severe stomach pains.  She was released early Monday morning and she was home for the entire week.  She had the pain all week, she felt weak, nauseas, achy, and you name it.  Thank goodness she is starting to feel better.
But it didn’t stop there, late on Monday night my father was rushed to the hospital.  Seems his sugar dropped extremely low and he was experiencing hard time breathing.  Once at the hospital they were able to somewhat stable his sugar but suddenly his blood pressure dropped way too low that they had to put him in ICU.  As of right now he is in a regular room, still trying to control his sugar and giving him antibiotics for the pneumonia.  His blood pressure seems much better too.  I don’t know when they are going to release him though.  I had a long talk with my sister and we need to find another nursing home for him.  He does not like there at all, he even told me that he likes where he is and that the nurses are so nice and he does not want to go back to the nursing home.  This broke my heart hearing him say this, so we need to move swift and quickly to make it better.
As for my eating, well that is certainly out the window.  Plus with everything going on, it just made me realize that I had to resign from being the leader of our TOPS group.  My head is not in the game and it is so very difficult to reach so deep to motivate others while I don’t have the motivation for myself.  Sounds kinda strange even writing it but I truly feel that is the best decision for me.  Also too this weekend I have done some deep searching within me.  I am trying to get out of this funky mood.  That even today I have told myself, even if I am not watching correctly what I should be eating I will still journal my foods.  Hopefully seeing it written down will snap me out of this “just eat what you want” mood.    Hopefully this will work, plus I have been praying a lot to our dear Lord.
I will admit I am looking forward to next weekend.  My dear future daughter-in-law and my son are doing WW.  Anyhow, while talking with her and asking her what are you eating and how does the program work.  She explained everything to me and also said that my daughter was talking to her too about the program.  She said she has been making these simple but delicious so called “muffin meals”, and then asked if she and my daughter can come to my house and we would have a baking day.  Sounded lovely to me, so the two of them are coming Sunday and we are baking plenty and then dividing them up to freeze.  My daughter-in-law sent to me this site that has so many “muffin meals” recipes, I think I am going to make the one labeled as “Egg, bacon and cheese meal muffin”  Once they are made, cooled you can freeze them for on the go grab meal.  Hopefully with all of this I will become more mindful about the program and especially more mindful about me.
Until later…..

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