Monday, September 24, 2012

Day 213 Afraid to move

Another weekend gone.   Another day passes.  And with all this time, well I am still not moving the way I should be.  Why?  I wonder that myself many times.  Am I afraid? Am I that lazy?  Is it because I don’t want to be in pain?  Will this leg every get better?  I just don’t know the answer. 
I just finished reading this woman’s blog and O M G, I felt as if she was speaking to me directly.  I am beginning to believe that God has put me on her path.  To read and even feel her emotions, feelings, spirit of all she has been through.  But no matter what she continues to push through it all.  My goodness such strength she has.  Where does it come from?  I too want that strength, the motivation.  Honestly the ladies from TOPS state that I have it but there are many times I don’t feel it.  The ladies stated that they love the energy I give them but again I don’t feel it.  Am I faking it?  I still wonder.
Saturday my kids had a barbeque at their house.  As I was leaving my house, my neighbor peeked out her window to say HI and then stated how good I looked.  Don’t get me wrong it was great to hear this, all the work that I am doing but for some odd reason, I just felt she was being nice.  Like I didn’t believe it.  While at the kids house, a friend of theirs, nice kid (I really shouldn’t be saying kid, they are all around the age of 24) but anyhow, the young man stated how good I was looking, that he could see that I had lost a lot of weight.  Again it felt good hearing it but again I felt it wasn’t good enough.  I have so far to go and thinking will I ever get there.  Can I do this?  Am I looking too far ahead?   I sometimes feel I should just quit now.  I probably just need to stay in the present but can’t seem to shake this feeling that I haven’t done enough.  But then reading her blog, well it really touched me.  I just need to keep going.  Just do it.  I need to move more, perhaps that will help my head, feelings, emotions. 
As she put it, I need to just walk to the mailbox and back.
Until later…………………

1 comment:

  1. The lady I roomed with at fitbloggin did a post a few days ago about "doing what I can, with what I have, where I am… because I can." and really that is the key. We can't look at others and what they might do that we can't. It really is just about doing what YOU can with what YOU have, where YOU are right now, because you deserve to treat yourself well. Something I said in one of the discussions was "Just hold on" sometimes that's all we can do and that's ok. It really is just about living in today too :) I have to remind myself of that all the time. I say walk to the mailbox :) sounds like a great first step :)