Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 200 Why am I allowing other people get into my head

Wow I can’t believe that I have had this blog for 200 days.  I know it is probably not a long time especially compared to others but….I am surprised that I kept up with it.  Anyway…
Last Thursday at TOPS my weight stayed the same.  Believe me I am thankful but I know what I had done and it wasn’t the right doings so to speak.  I really can’t explain it but my weekends are my weakest points.  Why do I cave in?  Why do I allow myself to overeat?  I really need to wrap my head more into myself. 
Also too I am allowing things that people are telling me bother me more than they need to.  I feel sometimes that whatever someone should tell me, well I am taking it so much to heart that I begin to wonder why they said something to me.  I really much rather not know anything. 
I know the above paragraph probably doesn’t make any sense, but I have no other way to explain it.
Like even this one woman from TOPS, she is an older woman, retired and trys very hard to keep busy.  Well sometimes I feel she just wants to be leader, which she has reminded me several times already that she was many years ago. She complains to me, gives her opinion of how things should be run; now she is giving me her ideas of how we should play games at the meetings.  I’m trying very hard to be kind and considerate but also trying to get my point across that these meetings are for the people who need/want a place to express their feelings, reach out for help and support.  Trying to tell her that these meetings are not like a classroom (she reminds every opportunity that she was a teacher for a very long period of time). I tell her that we are adults, here for encouragement, information etc.   I don’t know what she wants from me.  Honestly, she is getting on my nerves and if she should keep this up, well once my term is up, I will give it up.  I really don’t need this kind of aggravation.  I have plenty of other things that need my attention and such.  I don’t have the time to do all that I wish.  I did write an email explaining my feelings and opinions of have I feel the meeting should be run; also I try to be compassionate to her feelings.  I guess I will see if she should write back.
Well last night I went shopping with my daughter to get majority of the items needed for the engagement party that she is throwing at my house for her brother and future sister-in-law.  All I can say is that she is in complete control with this all.  She did show me the menu and it looks pretty simple but nice.  The only thing that I am concerned about is rain.  My house is really not that big and I was hoping that many people would be outside in the patio area where there is plenty of space and such.  But again I can’t control the weather, so we shall see.
Again I am trying to stay within the 1200 calorie range per day.  During the week I am drinking over 64 close to 100 ounces of fluid.  Let’s see what Thursday brings for me.
Almost quitting time, after work today I need to head up to Target and get some extra large bins, I primary use these to hold soda and beer.  I really don’t have extra large coolers.  This works just as well.
Well need to run to the ladies room and then shut things down here at my desk.
Still working 4 days a week.  I love having the 3 day weekend.  I will hate when it ends.
Until later…………..

1 comment:

  1. My comments about the TOPS lady is I'm proud of you for stating your mind in an email and hopefully she will get the picture. What I've found is you can't make everyone happy and some people are just very opinionated and like to complain. I wouldn't let it bother you. I know myself this year I let being leader go and initially I found myself wanting to meddle in the new leaders stuff. I had to really make an effort not to do that. It takes time to settle in so just be patient with yourself and them.

    About people saying things that you feel don't need to be said well I sometimes think some people just thrive on drama and want to create it in other people's lives.

    Way to go on staying the same. I know what you mean about the weekends sometimes I'm the same way. I really try to make sure I'm active during the weekend and that usually helps a lot.

    Hope you're having a good Wednesday.