Ah Mondays, they come around so fast, but I was thinking this morning as I was coming into work. If I didn’t have this type of structure, what would I be doing? Just knowing that I must go to work, well it is just that I MUST. If I were home all the time, I know that there are things that must be done but it is really not structured. Things that must be done can still be done at “another time”. I don’t know if I have that type of discipline to keep that type of routine. Gosh this is hard to write down sometimes exactly what you are feeling. Then it got me thinking about discipline, that is what I need to move forward with my weight journey. I know the whole bit about planning and such, but still you need discipline. I need to get into my head dedication like how I am with work. My work is a reflection of me, then why can’t my weight journey be a reflection of me. I need to sit and plan more for me and only me.
Yesterday I went to church with my daughter at the church they plan to marry. Oh my gosh, the church is absolutely beautiful. I just love those older churches, beautiful columns, paintings on the ceiling, marble steps, huge gorgeous statues, awesome stained glass windows. I also met the priest who gave the sermon; he was very nice and welcoming. As mass was going on I was picturing her walking down the aisle with her father. I actually started to get tears in my eyes. Yes I guess I will be balling my eyes out when the day comes, such a sissy I am. Then while sitting listening to the sermon, I suddenly thought of my mom and then more tears. I pray that she will be watching as her little granddaughter becomes a wife. Oh boy, I need to stop cause I starting up again.
As for food, I ate practically nothing yesterday, not because I wanted to cut out the calories but I just couldn’t. With all the food from the day before, well I was so bloated I just couldn’t. I drank a lot, hoping it would flush things out of me, but still nothing has happened. I am hoping things will get a bit better today. I have just finished my breakfast and now working on finishing my first 40 ounces of fluid.
Need to get started with my work………….got a lot to do……….as I said ………discipline………….
Until later……………….
I think of it more as habit than discipline. I guess they go hand in hand but for me I want eating well, the whole planning, measuring, all of it to just be something I do like brushing my teeth. I don't want to have to give it much thought, I don't want to struggle over it. Just like coming to work I do my "routine" in the morning and then I spend my day doing what I do, I want food to be the same way. Exercise has become a habit but food, well, I still struggle at times. It takes time :) but you'll get there.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the support....you are one strong woman and I hope I can be one too, I have a lot faith and deep down I know I will.......
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