Day 139

So slowly but surely I think my better mood/attitude is coming back.  Thank goodness, I really hated who I was.  Also too I have allowed all this emotions/moods whatever to affect my eating.  I am so off base.  I have no one to blame but me and I know I must face the scale with all of this.  The only thing that I keep coming up with is, that this is all in the past and I must stop it from continuing.

As for my anniversary, well hubby sent me flowers to work, very beautiful and also on Tuesday, he took me out for dinner, which was very nice.  Sometimes it doesn’t seem real that we have been married for 30 years, WOW 30 years, it went so quickly.   We had a good chat and I told him how I was feeling, maybe not all but I got the most important fact across to him.  I will admit though he looked at me slightly puzzled, like he didn’t get it, which I will say is the norm for him.  Sometimes I feel he really acts dumb just to get off the hook.  But anyhow I said my peace and I do feel better about it.  Now let’s see if I get any reaction from him.  Also too we spoke about going away, just even one night, of course like the usual, he states, well just as long the dog is OK and our son can watch him overnight…..I do love the dog but there are times…….well….enough said.

As for my dad, well I have started the brutal tasks of preparing for our (sister & I) meeting with the social worker and Medicaid rep.  So much paperwork, so much to do, it does make your head spin.

One finally good piece of news, my insurance company has ultimately approved the medication for my knee injection procedure.  I never dreamed it would have taken this long.  The insurance company told me that they will be contacting the doctor, confirming address and the shipment should be going out next week.  So looking at a time table, I am hoping that the injections should be starting, hopefully by the beginning of August.  I will say that I am very scared but do want to get this done and pray to God that it works. 

Tonight is TOPS and I am trying to pull from the tip of my toes to get some motivation for these ladies.  I will admit it is hard to find that motivation, especially when you feel you don’t have it just for yourself, let alone for others.  But I will dig very deep to find “something”.

Well I better get back to work……always have lots to do.

Until later…..