Loving Fridays

As always it is a good feeling when it is Friday. Tonight will be extra special because hubby and I going out for dinner to celebrate our wedding anniversary (which was actually yesterday). 32 years, at times it doesn’t seem right, with that much time has gone by. But looking back most of it was good times but also some really tough times. I am proud though that we have always worked things through. I am proud of both of my children, of who they have become and of what they have done. I feel satisfied that we have done our best in raising two fantastic people. Now onto TOPS, my presentation went real well. The group really seems to enjoy and got enthusiastic about it. Now I hope it just sticks. My presentation was on “motivation”. I had some handouts plus a questionnaire, which I told them to take home to read and answer. I think some will but not all. Also I had a small loss which I am happy about. I was quite surprised last night because I got a phone call from Mexico; this is where my son and daughter-in-law are at for their honeymoon. It was so sweet of them to call to wish us a happy anniversary. Quite touching. So moving forward with my food journal. I know I probably will be over with tonight’s dinner, most likely because I know we will have some drinks. Believe me that glass of wine will be costly but in my eyes it is just one night. I will NOT allow this to continue to falter just because of one occasion, which in the past I have allowed it to continue for several days. Need to finish some reports here at work. Until later…………

Thinking about me

Even though I don’t post often, I certainly do read plenty of other blogs. Now that all the excitement and drama is over, with both of my children and their weddings, I have begun to start thinking; I mean really thinking about me. Which I do at times but for some reason this seems to be different. I have been thinking about where I go from here. I am now 58 years old, obviously still working and will probably for a very long time. I do think about retirement, but it just seems so out of reach. I think about me and the hubby. But lately I have been thinking about how much I feel so unfocused. In many ways, not just with my health, but mainly with that. Again here I go just babbling on. Anyhow, I am back to making full dinners again. I am back to planning menus again. I am trying to get really focused on my healthy living. Actually this past weekend, as I was cleaning out a drawer from the computer desk, I can across a Christmas gift that one of my kids gave me several years ago. It is an IPOD. Brand new, never used. So I opened it and spent quite a few hours programming it and buying songs. It is now my new friend. With it I can actually feel an upbeat in my walk. The choice of music is uplifting, upbeat, like you just have to get up and dance to. So for right now this is my new tool. I have been watching and journaling my food and it seems to be working. I certainly hope so. Tomorrow I go back to TOPS; it has been three weeks since I was there, with the wedding and the holiday. So hopefully I may see a drop. I certainly hope I make it through today. Last night we had some severe storms, we lost our electricity, so there was no other options but to go to bed. Well my clock was on but it had the wrong time, so here I am thinking I better get moving and get ready for work. Well by the time I was done, it was 5:15 am; normally I don’t even get out of bed until 5:30. So with that I did a few chores and left for work. I got into work ½ hour early. All I will say I have a feeling it will catch up with me and it will be an early bedtime tonight. Hope everyone has a pleasant day. Until later………..

It has been too long

Wow I can’t believe that much time has gone by. A lot has happened, mostly all good stuff. We had our bridal shower for my daughter in law back in May and just 10 days ago, my son got married. It was a beautiful wedding, such a perfect day. Everyone stated that they had a great time. Now they are on their honeymoon in Mexico. I have seen some pictures, sure looks like they are having a blast. So officially both of my children are married. Most important to me is that I can see and feel that they are both so, so happy. To me, this is what I have always prayed for and continue to pray for, which I am so grateful. Now that things are finally are somewhat back to normal, which I will admit I am so glad about, I now look at myself and wonder, what is next. I have been having these thoughts for some time, even before the wedding. I will admit I tend to so easily to put myself, second, third or where ever down the list but I don’t want to do that no more. I have been thinking about the future and what it holds for me and the husband. So much has happened, good and not so good, but I think about the two of us and where will we be, like in five years or when ever. Right now I am having some issues with me, only me, thinking about the two of us. Sometimes I feel we have drifted apart some. But on the other hand, we still need each other. It is just right now I wish we were a bit closer, not just physically but also emotionally. I feel we are in such a rut, ditch, that it is very hard to dig out of, and sometimes feel like I am just too tired. Maybe because everything is over and there is nothing really going on right now. Part of me just feels kind of lost, lost out in space somewhere. Maybe I am just feeling old, I really can’t seem to pin point it, and hopefully I can figure it out or just get out of this mood. Sorry I may be babbling on, and probably making no sense out it is all. As for my weight, I have been on a standstill, just hovering around 50 pounds lost. I do know I want to move forward and get more weight off of me. One thing that I am proud of is that I have not quit TOPS; I sometimes think that is probably what helped me stay the same. I have been watching but not as closely I should be. So I started to journal my food again. I really don’t like it but it is necessary, it helps keeps me accountable. Trying hard to keep myself motivated, but praying that I will find it again. I also know that I need to talk things out with my husband, just need to get to the right timing, meaning when I am ready. Hopefully that may be soon. As for dad, well we did have some issues, but thank God, they did finally got resolved. Hoping that everyone enjoyed their holiday. Until later……………….