Just moving along

Sometimes I wonder just where the time goes. If anything I am busy at work. Last weekend was really nice. I had a wonderful time with my girlfriend in Delaware. Her shore house is just heaven. The weather was beautiful and the scenery was fabulous. Our only problem was coming home late Sunday; we hit many pockets of heavy downpour rain. So it took us several hours to get home but we made it. So now I am just trying to get through this week. I am no longer off on Fridays, so this week will be an adjustment. Next week though, hubby and I will be going away for a few days. I am looking forward to it but I must admit it will kind of feel strange too. Reason being is that we have not taken a vacation or even went away overnight in many years because of our dog. Hubby would never put Max in a kennel, so therefore we never went away. Unfortunately, our beloved Max passed away last October; he was 13 ½ years old. Hubby took it very hard, that was his best buddy. I went to TOPS last Thursday and I am happy to say that I took 6 pounds off from the 7 pound gain. Keep in mind that I haven’t been there for four weeks. Just need to push and continue to lose that one pound and some. I will be going this Thursday but not next week due to going away with hubby. Things seem to be well. Even Pop seems to be in good spirits. I will be seeing him after work today. One thing I can say is that his appetite is good again. My sister and I were getting worried of how he was not eating. He was looking mighty fragile and so thin. Now it is the complete opposite. His face is fuller and he has gained some weight back. I also think he has come to the reality, that this is his life. He knows that he can no longer do the things that he used to and that he needs assistance. He now looks forward to the trips that the nursing home has once a month. He gets excited about them when you talk about them. Which I am so happy and grateful for. Well as they say “time to make the donuts” or I should say “time to make the money”. Got lots of work to get done. Until later…………..

Been keeping myself busy

All I can say is that 3 days being home goes mighty fast.  I kept myself busy though.  Friday started the day with cleaning and then in the evening I went to meet my daughter at the bridal shop to see her try on her wedding dress that came in.  Oh my just beautiful.  Next will be seeing the seamstress for proper fitting. 

Then Saturday was a big food shopping order, put away and starting baking items.  By the end of the day I finished making two loafs of low calorie banana bread. Made two dozen lemon-lime cupcakes.  Also made a low calorie cherry cheese Danish ring.  Now hubby has plenty of evening snacks to hold him for a couple of weeks.  I cut it all down and freeze it all.

As for today, well finished making two more loafs of banana bread, which I will be taking with me when I go to my girlfriend’s shore house next weekend, her daughter and her hubby and grandson will be there also.  Plus I made all my breakfast and lunches for the week, which is low calorie egg and cheese muffins, plus made French dip muffin meals, also made low calorie pumpkin bars.  Now I can choose and quickly pack my breakfasts and lunches for the week.  Now I am just finishing dinner which is baked chicken with some Chinese veggies.  Oh and I washed and cut up all the fruit.  I will admit I am tired but knowing this is all done I feel good.  Now for the week, I just need to gather my clothing and pack it up by Thursday night.  Funny thing knowing that I will be going away I have plans to get things done during the week which I would normally do on the weekend.  You would think I would do this stuff so I could be more relaxed on the weekend.  Something that I think I should pursue. 

Staying on plan and it feels good. 

Time to make my lemon water for the week

Until later…………..

I think I did good

Well again it is Friday and I am off.  I must admit it is nice only working four days a week.  Even though I must push harder to have all my work done in four days.

 Yesterday I was quite upset.  Talking with my daughter, she made a comment that really hurt.  I am trying to keep in mind that she at times gets very stressful, especially with the wedding.  Anyhow, I held onto that feeling.  With that feeling I wanted so much to eat but I didn’t.  Spoke to her again late last night and things are somewhat better.  I know at times we all say things not meaning to hurt another but it does happen.  It is just at these times I feel I try to do as much as possible for them and they just don’t care.  Then I also try to reminisce about times with my own Mom.  Wishing that things that I said I could take it all back.  I know that this is a new phase of my life that I need still to adjust, meaning that they are on their own.  The relationship between me and my daughter is good, but kind of wish it was better.  She is one tough cookie to deal with at times.  Then that is the way she is, lump or like it.

One piece of good news that I am excited about, is that I picked up my dress for the wedding.  The dress is so pretty.  I can hardly wait to get it altered and fitted just right.  I just hope I can pull it off wearing it.  Below is a picture of it, only thing is that mine is a cranberry color.   The wedding is in October.  A complete fall theme. 

http://www.jordanfashions.com/6012


Unfortunately last night there was no TOPS meeting because of the heat.  Our meeting place is at an older church parish hall and there is no air-conditioner. Plus being closed up, well the heat is intense.  So I was unable to get weighed in.  I will just have to wait until next Thursday.

Oh and next week I will be going to Delaware with my dear girlfriend’s shore home.  I am looking so forward to going away.  I know I will have a great time.  She is so much fun and just enjoy being in her company.  I just pray that the weather is nice. 

Well I finished cleaning up the kitchen and need to move on.

 Tonight I will be meeting with my daughter at the bridal shop.  Her dress has come in and she is going to check it all out.   Time is ticking and the wedding will be here shortly.

 Oh and before I forget, I did a little reading about grain free on Gwen’s blog.  I still want to read some more.  Hopefully maybe I will get some time after the bridal shop. 

 I am still using the visual about me being in a circle eating like crazy as I am also outside the circle watching all of this.  So far it is helping me NOT to eat out of emotion.  I read today in Holly’s blog about when a situation comes up to do a 180 turn reaction.  I am going to try to remember this also.  All these great tips I am trying to hold onto.  Anything and everything helps.  These people and God are guiding me, which I am grateful.

Until later…..

Trying to stay the course.....

I must admit it always feels good when you are somewhat back on track again.  If this feeling is so good, then why do I go astray?  I have been trying to answer this for quite some time.  Not that I have the right answer but I think I am seeing it with different areas.  I usually go off plan when I feel overwhelmed.  In any circumstance, meaning the job, family issues, even with just my lifestyle.  My lifestyle is not complicated.  Both of my children are out and on their own, at home it is just hubby and me.   So as for the hustle, bustle of everyday living has calmed down quite a bit.  But I go off plan if things are not as usual, routine, etc.  This I know, but lately, meaning just several weeks, things have been calm.  My daughter’s shower is over, everything went well.  Hubby and I just re-financed our home, which went well.  So why was I off course???    Just being downright lazy and bored.  That is what I have come up with.

So I have kicked myself in my butt and told myself to stop it.  I don’t know, stop being bored, and stop being lazy, stop maybe feeling sorry for myself.  Honestly, it occurred to me while listening/reading another blogger.  She is so helpful to me, words couldn’t even describe of how thankful I am.  I truly believe that God has guided me to her, which I am so grateful for.   Anyhow, for right now when I am bored and I want to reach for something, just for the sake of eating, I will stop and vision myself in a circle with all this food, just shoving it in my mouth, also I am standing outside the circle and watching me inside the circle, constantly eating.  I am not liking this picture and then I truly think am I really hungry? or bored?.  Well, all I can say is that I did this over the weekend and this is a first in a really long time, especially for a weekend, that I actually watched what I ate, responded only when I was truly hungry.  Just doing that and thinking back on it, well I feel pretty good.  So I am hoping that this will last a while for me.  Helping me to stay on course and stop with all the excuses.

Also too I want to thank all of you for all your support and encouraging, caring words, it means a lot to me.

Hopefully I can report a loss this week.

Until later………….

Need to snap out of it

Just finished reading some blogs and as usual they have me thinking.  So many times I just want to run away from all of this, meaning this journey of trying to lose weight.  Of course that is the easy way out for sure.   Every morning I say my prayers and finish them off with asking our Lord to please help me stay the course.  Don’t go astray, walk the path, be strong.  But at the end of the day I feel I have failed again.

Lately I have been thinking about how lazy I am.  That I don’t exercise enough.  Then I start to think of how I really don’t have time for it.  Mainly because of how slow I am with everything.  With just hubby and I at home, well you would think that life would be much easier, less time to take care of the everyday things.  But for me, well I don’t want to give the impression that it is hard but it just takes more time.  Meaning that whatever I do it takes me longer to do it.  Mainly because I am so slow.  Even with being with others, like going for a short walk I decline because I don’t want others to feel bad for me because I can’t keep up and hate the feeling that I am holding others back.  I am so slow with EVERYTHING.  Even with hubby and I, of course he knows my pace, so many times I would love to do just a little something, even he will come back and say to me, well it is too much for you so we won’t do that.  He doesn’t even ask if I would like to.  Lots of time I just feel trapped.  Trapped in this body and mind.  Plus so many times I really want to say something but fear, not so much of saying something but fear I will be unable to do it or complete it.   So feeling like this, feeling sorry for myself I just turn to the food.  I really want to snap out of this.

But how…………………..

Until later…………………….